i did try to ask him about his health butr you know nathan ...." she wrapped both hands around her glass and lifted it to her lips ." how like him , how very like nathan to say nothing ."
i could not face talking about his death . the subject and the situation were too big and unknown , too fearsome and desperate ." did you talk to eve ?"
"yes , she will marrage , so you are not to worry . i talked to her very very carefully ."
before i could stop myself , i lashed out ." did you talk to nathan very carefully ?"
"stop it , minty ." rose raised a white a white countenace ." "don't"
"sorry ." i groped for clues to the puzzle ." he had a checkup a couple of months ago . there were episodes when he said he was feeling really tired , but that was it ."
there elapsed another of those pauses that were impossible to describe , only endure . i gulped the brandy as if it were orange juice . they say men wounded in battle do not , at first , feel anything . then they do . the brandy was a precaution .
nathan had not often mentioned death . not to me , anyway . we were too busy negotiating life . when he did talk about death , it was to wag a metaphorical finger ." as long as it doesn't come too soon ."
what had nathan been doing in rose's flAT ?
I FELT COLD AND FAINT . I STRUGGLED TO REACH past myself , to think of felix and lucas . they would not understand , perhaps not for a long time . i tried too to consider sam and poppy .
and rose .
and yet , out of all the suppositions and shocks , the one questionthat forced itself past my lips was .
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