i was not prepared . it was not as though nathan and i had had a long run-up to this moment . i hadn't writen a list . get used to idea , read manual on hereavement .... there had been no doctor saying ." i'm so sorry , but ..." no nathan saying ." minty , we have to face it ..."
painting and literature were staffed full of farewell scences . wives knelt beside the bed - not always weeping . children were generally at the foot and wept enough for the wives . bblack-clad relatives waited outside death chambers . this primarry rite of passge , this moment when the strings were so tightly drawn that the merest touch would product a note of exquisite beauty and sadness , had been rehearsed down the ages and everyone in these scenes knew their role .
an arm went around my shoulder , and i was enveloped in a jastmine scene . rose's but the arm was awkward . i muttered " this in't a joke , is it . rose ?"
" a joke ?"
i didengaged myself so abruptly that gisela reached onto to stedy me . " when ....?"
"an hour ago . i don't know . it was .... quick . very quick . one minute . anthan was here . the next , he wasn't . he gave a little sigh . that was all ."
i examined my hands in deatil . snagged cuticle on fourth left finger and a thumbnail the required filing .
shiocked and clearly agitated . gisela leaned forward and touched my cheek ." what can i do , minty ? tell me ."
"go ," i replied ." its best ."
gisela shrugged the unwrinkled leather jacket closer round her shoulder s . " of course ." the front door clicked shut .
i raised my head from the detailed observation of my hands ." i need to sit down ."
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