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. " and you really are a mummy ."
i stared at the snarled traffic  ." i really am a mummy ."
when we got back , evw  was in the kitchen  . she looked a  lot stronger  , even  if her clothes  hung off her ." i make  supper ." she said  and  when i tried to stop her , she held up her hand ." i do ."
i helped her to cut  cucumber and carrot  sticks  and to hear  the fish pie . she moved tiredly  , painfully  slowly , but with determination . afterward  , she insisted  on clearing up  . she  raised  her normally  indifferent eyes  to mine , and  in them  sparked gratitude . " you are nice , minty ."
during the bad nights  . i had  been getting rid of nathan  . it should  have been  a logical  process  - nathan wa no longer  here to wear  his shirts ,  socks , shoes , and ties  , and they were easy  to sort and easy  to pack  .but their disposal  defied  logic  . sometimes i managed to clear a drawer  , sometimes it  was beyond  me . it was  a process that  had to be secrer  because  i did not wish  the boys  to witness it and because it hurt  , so i accomplished it in front and starts , by  dark and stealthily  during those nights .
it was a quarter  to two when i got myself  out of bed  and opened the doors to nathan 's wardrobe  . already a light  dust  coated the contents . there were  ties , blue , red and green  . a  scarf was jammed onto the shelf   and i piccked  it up . it was an expensive one , and i caught the fainted  echo of his altershave  . the sensation of a sharp  instrument  striking through my breast  made me gasp . i sank  back down  on  the bed  , holding  it between  fingers from  which the feeling had drained .
nathan was dead .

294 wivesbehavingbadly

. she put down the teapot  ." you know what they say about addicts  ? if you take away  the addiction  and the fuss around  it . then three is nothing left to fill the day ."
" carity work ?"
it was as bad  a joke as  nathan  would have made . gisela  marriaged  a wintry  smiles  ." then i would be truly  dead  ." she pointed  to te cushion  ." french eighteenth  century  . note the superb  vegetables dyes ."
" noted  .' i had half an ear  listening  for the twins and  whether  they were  creating  mathem with angels .
 gisela  traced  the outline  of  the wounded  stag  on the cishion  with  a finger on which  gleamed  an  important  diamond  ring  ." i had  become used  to a setup  where  everything  on the surface  appeared  straightforward  but wasn't  and only  i knew about  it . there was  an edge  to  my life  like  the hem  on  a garnment . i couls say to myself , i'm  married   to nicholas  or richmont  of roger  , but  i have  the option  to pack my bags ...."
she laughed  bitterly ." the trouble is , since i've told  marcus to go , ispend all my time thinking  about him in a way i never did when he was  on the scene ."
"oh  , dear ," i said ." " that's bad  . you've got guilt plus the grass  -it- greener syndrome rolled into one ."
gisela  was startled ." what do you mean ?"
"it's a stubborn , pesky  illness that won't go away ."
" how do you know ?"
" i am intimately acquainted with it ." i said .
in the car on the way back , felix piped up ." if you don't have a daddy , dose that mean we are not a family ?"
"no , felix . you can be a family  without a daddy ."

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. it was nice of her to mention it . but i wondered if she meant it ." have you heard from marcus ?"
at his name , she leaped to her feet ." no , i haven't "
i wanted foe more  information  , buy gisela  had retreated  into painful refflections . the scene  on the  tapestry cushion  at my right elbow depicted  hunters  in the forest and a wounded  white  stag . the forest had been woven with little animals and flowers .' are you angry , by any chance , gisela ?"
"i' am and i'm not . ' gisela  took up a position  by the long window  and fingered the curtain tieback ." okay , i'll  say this . in the end  , i felt i had no choice . i'm married  to roger  and i can't just break a vow as easiy as marcus suggests ."
this shone a new , fasinating  light on the situation ." gisela  , since when have you minded  about marriage vows ?"
she tossed her head ." " you've read me wrong , minty . i always  observed  the contract . i did exactly  what was  expected and what  i underlook to do  . marriage is a business  , not some mystical revelation ." she fiddled some more with  the tieback .
in the end  . it was a choice . that what 's upset me ....a little . i did not have it in me to  consider  the alternative  with marcus  to  what i have now  ,  with  roger  . i could not  see  it ."
"ah "
" dose that make me dead ?"
i  hazarded  a shrewd  guess  ." it that what marcus  said ?"
gisela  smiled bleakly ." something al;ong those lines . but  it's done  ." she returned  to her seat , and i watched  her slip back  into the hostess 's skin , straightening her skin and lifting  the teapot  . " more ?"
gisela 's  pact with the devil had not made her happy ." are you sure ?"

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. "felix . no ." she said sharply  when felix picked up one of the cushion  . " it's very old  and valuaables . " her attention  veered to lucas , who discovered that the aubussion rug cancealed  an exciting piece of parquet  on which to slice .
i  called the twins to heel but they were restless  uneasy , and disuinclined to obey . this had been a pattern for the last few days and i was fighting to comes to grips with  a . lucas  happened to be standing closest  to gisela whwn he sneezed fulsomely . i hastened to pass him a tissue , which after he had used it . he offered to gisela with the his sweetest smiles .  gisela recoiled ." why don't i ring  for angles and she can give them tea in the kitchen  ?"
roger put in a brief appearance on his way to a golf club gathering  . he advanced into the room in a hearty  manner and kissed  my cheek ." so good to see you  ." he murmured one eye on his wife  . ." i hope everything 's under control . " he looked healthy  and weathy , but not particularly  rested  or happy .
i was tempted to punish him  with a catalog  of what was not going well  but spared him . more than once over the past few  weeks as  refected  on what had  happened to nathan  , it had occurred to me that roger - for all his power and success - was as likely to be done to , as often as he did by . sooner or later  . roger 's career would end .
after he had left , and angela had brought in tea and chocolate cake and taken the boys  away  . gisela asked after paradox and the job . i put down my cup  into my saucer ." i have a fight on my hands ." i said .' i'm going to need every ounce of guile  i possess ."
gisela cut a minute slice of chocolate  vcake and arranged it on her plate ." i appreciate how difficult  it must be for you  minty . i admire how you're handling everything ."

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. " don't be silly ; eve . the boys need you and they are very fond of you . i need you for the boys , so will you please concentrate on getting better ?"
as i climbed the stairs  to her room  in the evening , bearing  a meal tray i wondered  what  nathan  would make of me now .
at paradox . i had taken to draping a jacket ( which i changed every two days over the back  of my chair and leaving it there . this was to encourage anyone glanceing into my office in the early  morning or late  evening  to conclude that i was already  '/ still at work  . t typed out a list of so-called  lunch meetings in twenty-point bold garamond and struck it onto the side of my computer screen . in actual fact , i was sacrificing  a proporttion  of the family 's weekly budget on taxis so that i could race back to lakey street to feel eve . it was a killing schedule , but i had a discovered a quirk in my psyche . i did not mind putting myself out .
barry and chris had developed an unhealthy symbious /" chris thinks my thought and walks my walks , " barry anounouced during an ideas meeting that chris had dominated .
deb went pale and stared  hard at the coffee machine ."i'm looking for a new jchris had not looked at deb , he gathered up his papers and waggled his fingers ." see you later , guys ."
barry followed him ,  ." ." leaving deb and me at the conference table . she cocked an eyebrow ." i feel  i've fallen behind , minty . and i can't pot my finger on how it happened ."
at the weekend , i took the boys to  gisela 's for tea . since  . i had been there last , she had redecorated the drawing room in pale gold and cream , with venetian mirrors and authentic tappestry cushion .

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. "he let slip that recruited  you over  a coffee ."
" that was ages ago . anyway , what should i have done ?
ignored him ? " there was a silence and , i added desperately . "eve dose need checking over , and the agency girl can't or won't ."
"okay ." paige was not enthusiastic ." i'll send linda over . she can give eve a meal ."
that was the best i could wrest  from the situation . it was bad but not  terminal and i set about drawing up a list for linda .
to begin with , eve was very weak . then she got better and stronger , but it was not straighforward . some days she could get up for an hour or so . on others the lightest task were  beyond her . ignoring my dwindling cash reserves , i hired the agency nany for anther two weeks .
 paige was of the opion that  i should sack eve ," you've got to survive  ." she argued ." you can't afford a weak link , it's either you or her ."
centuries worth of social and ethical thinking that had crept snaillike toward compassion for , and nurture of , the weak flicked through my brain ." as a matter of interest , is that what you feel martin is ? a week link ?"
paige gave the impression that she was talking to a recalcitrant child ." i haven't  got time to nurture a hability , you haven't  got time for a nonfunctional child carer ."
eve might have been ill but she was no fool . she could sense what was blowing in the wind ." please don't lose me the job ." she begged in genume  rerror that i mighht cast her our  into the street . for ten second or so .  the idea  of bying her a one-way ticket to romama jumped the top of my list .i took her sickly face between my hands .

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. the head nurse was ensconced at the nurse  ' station . she was neat , carewore , and so small  she barely  crowned the pile of papers  in front of her ." who ? " she asked . it tooks her a couple  of minutes  to sift through the notes and get a fix  on eve . then she informed me that eve could  leave  the hospital the following day but required  dedicated  nursing  and would not be property on her feet for at least  six weeks . she outlined a program of light  meals , sponge  baths , and pill taking whose implication s instantly triggered   a cold trickle down  my spine .
i tackled the live -in agency stand in who had arrived for the week and gave a rundown of of evee's nursing  care  . the girl  - australian , blond , smiling - shook  her head  and said politely  ."i'm afraid  agency  rules prevent me from doing anything except look after the kids ."
the telephone odyssey recommenced ." if you could look in once  ." i pleaded with tessa / kate/ paige  ." just to check up on eve and make sure that's she taken her pills and eaten something ."
tessa  said .," if she eally ill  , you'd better get in an agency nurse ."
"i already have  an agency nanny . and she's  costing the earth ."
kate was more  sypathetic  but less helpful ." you'd better stay at home , minty . how would you feel if something happened  to eve ?"
paige said ." i'm not taking to you , minty . not only do you lecture me , but i've discovered that you're on martin 's side  ." how ?"