322 wivebehavingbadly

this is a man who's lost his stffing and brimstone , and the thought flashed through my mine that it was better to be dead than a failure ." i put down my wineglasss ." the question is , did i wish nathan's death on him , rose ?" did i ?"rose swirled her ewine round her glass ." when nathan left , i thioiught how much easier it would have been as a window . not as the dumped wife , for  a start , no one could have said it was my fault , unless  i'd fed him hamberger and chips every night . if he had died , the situation would have been easier to handle ."
"yes ."
"probably ," i conceded ." i wanted it and i reckoned loyaltty in the office was an old -fashioned concept ."
"and now ?"
i thouight of chris  sharpe ." much the same ." i looked down at the carpet  ." was nathan trying to humiliate me when he asked  that you be made aq  guardian ?"
"perhaps he was thinking of what's best for the boys ."
"perhaps ."
rose took my hand . the touch of her flash on mine was unexpected ." minty , what you don't understand is .... i had got away . final . at last . i had stopped dreaming about nathan . i wasn't about to involve myself in his life again . i had cut him off ."
i allowed my hand to rest in hers and told her what festered in mind mine ." i never loved him ,. rose , not truly . not , really truly . not heart , soul , body and mind . he knew he was getting older and wanted different things , and i was not  going to make it easy . if i'd loved him .