nathan observed it for second or two ." later ," he saod .
i should have pressed onward : let's discuss your diary . let us , together , sort out what is making you unhappy but the expression the had settle on nathan 's face meant that my words were stillborn . it was not so much impatience and distate , althiough they were mirrored in his face - and whether they were directed at himself or directed at me . i was unsure . it was his obvious - and disturbing - detachment . nathan had removed himself from the kitchen , and i had no idea where to .
i tried again ." nathan . i knoeqw i should not read what you wrote , but we must talk about it ."
" what ?" with an effort . nathan refocused on me ." actually ...." he stopped .
" nathan , i want to talk to you about .... the diary . about what i read ."
"no... " nathan cut me off ." no , i don't want to discuss it it . it is silly and very private ."
"but ...." the obvious question was : why did you leave it for me to read ? but i had learned that most things , in this relationship at any rate , were not straighforward . i it was a question of picking through the maze .
"if you feel like that ...... " suddenly . i had lost interest in exploring my husband's psyche . i shoved the chair back and got to my feet . if i had three magic wishes all three would go on summoning back the old nathan . i could never have the young one , but i would dearly like to reclaim the version who had swashbuckle into my life and said ." let's escape ."
" nathan , can you pass me that saucepan ? " i busied myself running the hot water and swishing in detergent .
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