the inyerior of the SUV required a cleaning and smelled of the cranberry juice one of the boys had spilled in the back. NB : put on the list for eve . i searched in my bacg for a tissue " poppy and i rub along .
nathan 's hand tighttened on my thigh ." i idn't marry you to get on with poppy ."
it was a small concession , but i felt a sudden comfort and pleasure in the ratification of my place in nathan 's hierarchy . deep in my handbag . my fingers encountered a half-sucked boiled sweet that felix had discarded and i had rrescued from the car seat . it awful stickiness and the fact that it was in my the feel-good factor , and i said more sharply than i intended ,
" you married me because you thought you would be happy . i don't htink you are . and i don't know what i can do about it ."
\nathan stared straight ahead ." you read my notebook , didn't you ?"
"yes" .
"you shpuldn't have ."
" perhaps not ." i could heatr the sound of many doors banging shut in in nathan 's head ." nathan , we should make time to have a discussion ."
i canot pretend that i uttered this utmost urgency and conviction . but i thought i should try .
" not here ." he jerked his head at the back where the boys were making favorite aircraft noises .
" of course not here ."
wer hafted at the traffic lights , and the occupant of a small fiat shook hid fisty and pointed to the poster on his back wind-screen . SUVS ARE FUVS . the lights changed andnathna nosed the car into ;lakey street and parked ." minty , the notebook was private ." he rubbed his for head . all the same . i detected a frison of .... what i felt was relief ." i cannot trust you not to pry ."
maybe you can't ." i left it like that , swung out of the car , released the twins from captivity , and exhumed spare clothes , toys , and tthe books that felix never went anywhere without . thus burdened . i trod up the path behind my husband and sons .
a little later , nathan said ." i need some exercise ." he had changed into a pair of worn corduroys and a plaid shirt with frayed cuffs .
i was unpacking the twins ' toys and working out what to gave them for supper ." a walk ? take the boys , will you ?"
"i think i'll have a go at digging the garden ."
"dig the garden !" wooden engine in hand , i whirled around . " you haven't done thet for years ."
" all the same " - nathan stuck his hands in his pockets - " i think i will ."
the twins football sessions had turned the lawn into a slough of despond . i watched nathan pick his way across it and haul a forkout of garden shed . from the set of his shouklders , he was perfectly happy . and it was a fair bet he was whistling . ghe began to dig under the lilac tree and , after a while , apile of earth stacked up beside him .
half an hour later , i ferried our a mug of tea . the dark was galloping in , it was growing chilly , and nathan 's shirt was damp with swear under his arms . he wiped his hands on his trousers ." good girl ."
No comments:
Post a Comment