the first was a bouquet of pink and with love ." the second , white roses women with laurel leaves and ferns , real : " from rose , sam and poppy with all our love ."
the scent was dense , almost solid . i pressed my gloved fingers to my mouth . forever after , i would associate this lght , sweet , unbearable perfume with death .
earlier , before the service , i left the boys in eve's charge and sneaked into the then - empty church . the porch was clutered with leaflets , service manuals , and postcards whose edges were curling , have i got it right >? i want to ask the presence in the coffin , that was not quite body and not quite spirit .do you like the flowers ? gisela's florist had proved more than helpful , " just leave it to me , mrs , lloyd , " she had said . " i'll make sure i get what you and he would want ."
would the wine to be served at the funeral wake at the local hotel be drinkable , the tea and sandwiches acceptable ? the rules of this ritual were as mysterious to me as those that governed my faltering marriage had been . i had a nagging feeling that that a good funeral lasted longer in the memory than a wedding . if nothing else , nathan was owned a long memory .
hymns.... undertakers ... tea for the twins... there was a hint of hysteria as i ticked off the mental list while i walked down the aisle . there had been so many to work through , and so much advice , most which i could not remember - except that offered by mrs . jerkins at the school , glasses postioned at the end of her nose , a gesture designed to ward off too intimate a contact , she had said that felix and lucas should go to their father's funeral because it offered closure .
the scent was dense , almost solid . i pressed my gloved fingers to my mouth . forever after , i would associate this lght , sweet , unbearable perfume with death .
earlier , before the service , i left the boys in eve's charge and sneaked into the then - empty church . the porch was clutered with leaflets , service manuals , and postcards whose edges were curling , have i got it right >? i want to ask the presence in the coffin , that was not quite body and not quite spirit .do you like the flowers ? gisela's florist had proved more than helpful , " just leave it to me , mrs , lloyd , " she had said . " i'll make sure i get what you and he would want ."
would the wine to be served at the funeral wake at the local hotel be drinkable , the tea and sandwiches acceptable ? the rules of this ritual were as mysterious to me as those that governed my faltering marriage had been . i had a nagging feeling that that a good funeral lasted longer in the memory than a wedding . if nothing else , nathan was owned a long memory .
hymns.... undertakers ... tea for the twins... there was a hint of hysteria as i ticked off the mental list while i walked down the aisle . there had been so many to work through , and so much advice , most which i could not remember - except that offered by mrs . jerkins at the school , glasses postioned at the end of her nose , a gesture designed to ward off too intimate a contact , she had said that felix and lucas should go to their father's funeral because it offered closure .
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