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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

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. " probate wil take awhile and then i have to convene several meetings with the trustees to discuss the division . meanwhie , vistemax are honoring the severance package ..."
i let out  a sigh of relief .
" and of course there's nathan 's pension . that will be sorted out ."  theo paused . " there is the question that rose might be due aportion ."  with a steady hand , he poured me a second cup of tea . " whatever you do receive won't be riches , but it will provide you with a base from which to operate . add to that the money from your slice of the stocks and shares , and any earings you may have , and think you'll be all right , providing you are not extravagant . so if you did lose your job . you wouldn't be entirely destitute , and it would tide you over the worst ."
i stared at my tea . " theo , what was nathan doing when he suggested rose at a gurdian .... what was he thinking ? he must have known how ..... difficult , impossible , that would be ." ."
"nathan made it clear that he want to put the boys ' interests first . he said he had very faith you would understand ."
"but i don't ," i cried ." i don't . and to make it so public ! he shouls have talked to me ."
the witnessed many such exchanges in his office  . scenes in which outrage , betrayal , and bitterness burst through the dam of good behavior and politeness ." it's difficult to absorb , perhaps , at the moment . but things change . why don't you drink that tea ?"
obediently , i tok a sip , and theo shwed me the facts and figures of my new life .
" if you marrry again or live with someone else ." he said as i rose to take my leave ,

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. reality shows ,  property and things . chris thinks we will improve the margins that way . there are  a coyuple of good ideas going through the pipeline at the moment ."
"and ...?"
" you 'll have to talk to barry , but i have a feeling ....' she paused , then added ." chris feels we should not get too cultural or earnest . it brings the strike rate right down ." she giggled . " do you know what he's called the middle -age - proposal ?"
" tell me , deb ."
' finished at  forry ."
later on , in the editorial meeting , we discussed strike rates , and i heard myself issuingcomments that made enough sense to get me through , not that either chris or barry paid me much attention . they  were fat too busy talking to each other
"okay ," i said , and my voice sounded rusty and foreign to me ." there's an article i read in harper's about ballerinas . one of them , nora pavane , is quite something , and a defender of arts . t think we  shoould grab her and ask her to participate in a series on dance ."
chris reflected ." get her to front even ."
'yup , " said barry ." soung good ."
"i'll work on the treament and thinkj about the format ." i said ."ed golightly at BBC2  might he enterested . he's an arts editor , and i met him at a vistemax do , i could set up the meeting ."
"sounds good ." repeated barry .
on the way home , i sprinted into theo's offiice . i want to talk over my financial and legal position , and he had suggested that i call in .
thei sat me down at his desk and ordered up some tea ,  which arrived in a china pot ." the next few months won't be easy , " he said .

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. "i'm so very sorry , minty . it must be quite dreadful ."
i managed to smile ." so dreadful that i need diversion . please tell me what you've been doing ."
she needed no second invitation  . within five minutes , i had been acquainted with every shudder and sigh that made up her affair with chris sharpe .he was , i was reliable informed , the most talented man since einstein , and fantastic in the sack . chris had such ambitions for paradox , and vision that stretched far into the future of the industry and the changes that were likely to take place ." he says that people will compose their own television viewing programs in he not too distant fiture...." her voice dipped , swooped , grew dreamy as she released one detail after another . she said things like ." to think i could so easily not have met him ."  and , " dop you think he's good looking ?" listenning to outpourings of former cool urban things did exist .
"is he nice to you , deb ?"
"oh , sure , sure . but he doesn't want absolute commitment at the moment . and that 's how we're playing it . " deb reached over and flicked on my screen ." he's organizing new software ."she fiddled with the keyboard ." it might mean that i i have to look for a new job because it's not sensible for us both to work for the same setup ."
alarm bells clanged ." ang on , deb .why should you leave ? you like the job , and you've earned your place here ."
but i could see that that whatever i said would make no difference ." tell me about the projects ."
a suggestion of worry traced itself across her glowing features . " that's s bit of a story . i'm afraid we had a clear out . after you went off . chris and barry have been talking hard about trends .

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. i was when , like nathan , my father died unexpectedly . actually , i was more than angry , i was outraged , but i want to say , anger will weaken you , minty , as it weakened me when nathan decided our marriage was over . i suspewct you might be thinking : how dare nathan leave it all to me . you might a living and keeping the children ..."
the word "children " appeared especially black on the white paper .
" you may also be thinking as you read this that i am being indelicate and unsubtle , and interfering . but i thought i would take the risk ."
rose was inviting me to filter my grief through her . i had slept in her bed and she was sleeping in mine ." but it won't do , rose , " i murmured into the empty study . above all , and above everything , i owned nathan direct , undiluted grief that i must grant him . and i would i did .
"welcome back ." barry looled up  from the stuffed filofax . " we've miss you ." he was wearing his leather blouson jacket , but he had added to the red kabbalah wristband a  couple of others in pastel colors .
he sound as if he mean it . a lump wedged itself in my throat , but i managed a weak wave in his directtion as i disappeared into my office . in my absence , it had been swept and cleaned . tow polite mountains of paper sat on the desk .
"hallo ." deb walked lightly into the room ." how are you ?"
" i i hope i'm managing ."

Monday, July 30, 2012

216 wivesbehavingbadly

. a couple of more letters were so adulatory that they were in danger of suggesting that nathan was one of the great busineemen of our time . another , from an old school friend , was more modest . " he was a sweet boy ...'
'dear minty , ' said sue frost . ' this letter could not be  more difficult to write . we do not know each other , and that was of my choosing . but i thought about it and i thought you would want to know that we loved nathan dearly ..."
to read these letters was to shuffle a pack of cards . nathan the businessman . nathan the friend . nathan the father .
each one must be kept . i would buy  a scrapbook and paste them in , and one day i would it give to the boys . perhap we would read them together . " this letter was from daddy's boss ...
this one is rom the lady daddy worked with ."
to my surprise , jilly had also written  ." dear minty . nathan 's funeral went off very well . and i know that sam was comforted by it  . sam was going to write  but he is so busy getting ready to go to the states  , fried is flourshing , and i hpoe the boys are not bad  . maybe we should hook up for christmas ...?"
i must have moved awardly , for my elbow caught the pile and caused the letters to rain onto the floor . i bent over and picked up the one written in black ink on expensive white paper .
" dear minty ...' the sharp strokes of her t's and i's cut into the paper , and the rounded d's and n's seemed to cradle the words , " i am wriotting this after the funeral because i am at a loss . i know you will be too . you will be indescribaly busy and tired at the moment , and perhaps the shock hasn't really registerd , please take care of yourself . it is imp[ortant . i also want to ssay that sometimes you can be very angry with a person who dies .

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.      chapter sixteen
i drove myself into nathan's study , where a pile of letters had to be read and answered .
"dear minty , " wrote jean , nathan 's secretary  . the shock is considerable and i keep asking myself if i could have done something . he was so considerate and so kind to me ...."
charlie from vistemax reception wrote . " mr . lloyd was never  too busy to say ' hallo , ' unlike some . he always asked after sheila and jody ..."
to my surprise , roger had written . " thank you for the privilege of letting me speaki at the funaral . i realize what a hard decision it must have been for you . i meant every word , nathan was a titan , big in vision and strong in execution . he was also delight to know .'
clive -of-the-wind-turbines chose a more direct approach . "jolly good send -off for the old boy . very difficult for you . nathan and i did not always see eye as he was an obstinate old buzzard , but we came from the same stock and that always sorts things out in the end ..."

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. " millie says her daddy is bad . he went away too . daddies shouldn't go away ."
" sometimes they can't help it , lukey .... that was nathan 's name for him . " your daddy coudn't help it . you must remember that . it's different for millie's daddy ."
lucas considered , " millie 's daddy said he couldn't help it ."
i pulled lucas as close as i possibly could , " lukey , you must listen to what i say . millie's daddy is different from yours , yours would never have left you less ... unless he had no choice ."
i was thankful neither poppy nor sam could hear me .
" will i get a new daddy ?" lucas asked .
i spooned my body round him . he was tense , and there was a lick of sweat by his hairline . every one of his bones was so fragile , and i was shaken by terror for his safety . " no , lucas , you only have one daddy ."
outside the bedroom , the sun made an appearance . fastened on to me , lucas relaxed , his breathing slowed and he tumbled into one of those instant childish sleeps .
cautiously , i eased myself out of bed and went into the boys's room to check on felix . he wasn't there .
oh , my god . where was felix ?
then i spotted him at the bottom of the stairs that faced the front door  , sitting bolt upright  . he was dressed  , sort of , in one blue sock and a t-shirt squashed over his pajama top . his treasured  , tatty bit of blanket was scrunched between his knees , and he clasped his rteddy bear to his chest .
 he was  sitting uttery still , with an air of saintlike patience and expectation , of determination far beyond his years .
 i ran down the stairs and sat beside him , my hearts fluttering with pain and anxiety . " what are you doing , felix ?" i pulled him close . " what are you doing ? you gave mummy a fright . i didn't know where you were ."
at my touch , felix stirred and seemed to returen from somwhere far  away . his eyes were so blue ,  so trusting , so bright . " i'm waiting for daddy to show him my treasure , " he saiod . and unfurled his hand in which lay his shell .

Thursday, July 26, 2012

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with that surrender , i inched closer to understanding my dead husband . i knew then why nathan had come to priac bay . why he had loved it so .
a week later , we returned to lakey street late in the evening exhausted and dirty , and fell into bed .
i woke to find lucas on my bed , wrapped in his duvet , which he must have dragged in , reluctantly , i focused . " heloo , sweetie , how long have you been there ?"
" ages and ages , his treble voice piped in the silence . " why didn't you wake up , mummy ?"
"because i was tired ."
" i wantd you to wake up ."
" i knew lucas was tryping to ask me something but i was unsure what it was . " you'd better come in ." i lifted up the edge of the duvet and lucas importing the morning chill , climbed in . he snuggled into me  , and i smelled sand , salt , and seaweed .
i waited .
" do you think daddy can see us ?" his voice wavered .
i squinted down at him . he stared back and he was tryping so hrd to be composed . " probably ." then i copllected my wits . lucas wanted certainties . " yes , " i said .
" ican't see him . " his fair , rather stubby , eyebrows twiched into the frown that was growing habitual .
i stroke the tender skin between his eyes until the frown smoothed away . " we have to believe he is there ."
lucas edge closer to me , and i slipped my arm around him . " daddy was nice , wasn't he ?"
"very ."

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the nearest supermarket was on the outskirts of penzance .
it was busy and noisy . this was a beginning  (as paige would have it ) of the new economy , a different fiscal regime . i chose cut- price jam and chicken breasts , and the least expensive butter , and every store-branch that i could bear to buy .
i drovee away slight nauseated . the wind had dropped , and warmth from the sun had crept into the still air  . the sea had turned into a blue , gentle wash . it was a beautiful fay and , out at sea , boats of all sizes were scudding across the water .
when i got back , eve had taken the boys down to the beach , and i could hear their shouts and cries . i unpacked slowly and awardly , stowing the cut - price- jams , fish fingers , broccoli , and carrots , unable to shake off an overpowering , almost frightening , feeling that nathjan was in the cottage .
in the end , i snatched up my jacket and went outside . the coastal path passed directly in front of the cottage , and i headed toward the point . after a while , i increased  my pace until i was almost running , my feet bouncing over the turf and stones parent turquoise . the seabirls wheeled and dived to the rocks , as i rounded a coner to the point , the wind hit me and i slithered to a halt .
i smelled sea and turf and the freshness of the air . i faced the bay , where water , rock , and vegetation shimmered , a mysterious and beautiful trinity . i knew that nathan had been up there . maybe he had stood exactly where i was now and my feet were planted in the ghostly imprint of his .
i stood and listened to the unfamiliar  , wild music made  by the wind and the waves . its chords beat in my ears and unwillingly suspiciously , then with relief , i gave myself up to it .

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

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metaphorically , i had turned my back ." you know , minty , you don't know me very well at all , " he had once accused me .
if only i had taken the time to answer him . if only i had sat down , there and then , and said : " let's talk , nathan . tell me ,"
finding oneself so ordinarily materialistic and without grace at the mercy of such pain , impotence , and ugliness  was bewildering - it wa like being dashed this way and that in a tide as strong as the one peeding back the water from the sand .
eve beckoned to felix . " felix , come . there is something here ." they huddled together and inspected an object in the sand . lucas circled them . he looked cross and sang very loudly .
"look at me ."
long ago in the vistemax office , before the sea change had taken place in me , i told rose , " i don't have a family . who wants one ? i don't have children . why hang a millstone round your neck ?"
now i had a family , and the intolerable weight and size of the millstone tugged and pulled at every bone and muscle .
" mum ...." his white legs flashing under his green shorts , hair pushed back from his forehead by the wind , felix trodover  the shingles toward me with a goosefleshed arm out-stretched . " see what i've got ."
he unclasped his hand to reveal a perfect spiral shell .
after lunch of bread and cheese , the boys were chased upstairs for half an hour's quite reading . i left eve grimly washing up in the sink and complaining of the lack of hot water . got into the car , and went to find provisions .

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i too was cold , with apprehension and tireness . we felt worse when we discovered that two of the bedrooms under the eaves were damp , the plumbing questionable  , and the nearst shops several miles  . eve and i did our best  . we made beds  , unpacked  . and stacked the buckets and spades in the ready position by the front door  . we are a scratch supper of beans and fried eggs  , watched the rain sweep across the gray sea  , and listened to the gulls .
" daddy came hee , " i told the boys   . " lots for his hoidays ,
"daddy , " said felix , and his blue eyes darknened  . " daddy 's chair ?"
"it's posssible . it looks as though it's been for a long time ,"
eve chased a bear around her plate .
in the orning , eve and i led the boys down the steep path to the tiny beach  . after the rain  , the mud was as stricky as toffee , and the boys squealed with joy  . as we slid and slithered down  , moisture from the thick clumps of vegetation  seeped into our clothes  . the air was heavy with salt . the leaves and branches past smelled of it and it left its residue on our lips .
down on the beach , the tide was retreating leaving dark patches on the stones ,. gulls  screamed overhead  ,. the boys ran madly up and down  , calling to each other  . i sat on a rock and watched them .
my feet were wet and under my jacket , i was shivering most uncontrollably  . nathan had loved this place  . that much i knew , but little else . i had never asked why  , or which was his favorite spot , or where the best bay was to swim . i had been silent .

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

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"i did ."
paige pinched the flesh of one suety thigh and winced " well it's a beginning ."
 week later , i packed shorts , -t-SHIRT ,  sweaters , buckets , spades , favorite cereals , teddt beas , and alphabet spaghetti int the car , load ev , a map , and the boys and and drove  out of london .
we were heading for priac bay in cornwall . to be more specific we were going to the cottage where nathan and rose had holidayed every year , i could not say it had been either an easy or a a difficult decision  to make , because it had not been  a ecision in the formal sense . i had never been to priac  : bay - i distrusted  the ideas of it . " foe god 's sake ." i had protested ti paige in the past  .when nathan had brought up the subject of going there ."it's  where nathan took his family ." paige hadbeen suitably shocked ." is athan stupid ? or very , very limited in the imagination department ?" yet , in his absence , it seemed imperative to take  the boys and me to a place where nathan had been happy  , so i had got on the phone and arranged  it .
it was rainning - a light pume - when three hundred or so murderous miles later , the car jolted down the dirt road that led to the cottage , stupefied and bored , felix and lucas were silent in the back .
the world was drenched . the horizon was wiped out by mist , and the sea roared with white crests . the slate tiles on the cottage roof gleamed , there were damp patches sprouting on the gray walls  , and the plants in the gardn dripped .
eve drew the sleeves of her jersey father  down  her wrists " it 's cold , minty ."

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and i'm not so good at sleeping . but then i anticipated not sleeping for a hundred years  . do you want to come upstairs while i change charlie ?"
paige was a champion mother , she was also a champion  housekeeper  . her store cupboards were immaculate and none of her spice jars ever overran their sell -by dates  . each shelf  in the linen cupboard corresponded to a room in the house  , and the clothes in her warrobe were color coded  . you could hate paige , unless you loved her .
i  trailed up behind her , noting that every shelf was dust free  and the curtains in the children 's bedroom had strips of transparent cling film sewn along the bottom to preserve  them . when i pased the spare room  and glanced  inside  , though  , i did a double take  . it was awash in discarded clothes , books , a pile of papers on the floor .
" you're looking at the mess ? martin  said the deal was that  , if we had the third, which he didn't want  , then he would grap a spare where he could  live like a pig ."
"ah."
paige changed and washed charlie  . for all her talk , she was  clearly tired  , so i gathered up the discarded baby things and wiped down the mat .
' you shouldn't do that  , ' she said  , " but i'm grateful ."
" have you any idea how  i crave to do something ordinary ?" i chucked the cotton wool into the bin .
suddenly paige sat down on the nursing chair . her stomach bulge over  her skirt , and her thighs had a flabby underdone look ." what next  , minty ? what are you going to do ?"
" go back to work . keep the boys and myself ."
" you want to go back ."

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she lifted charlie to the other breast and retured to the original subject . " you are going to have to sort yoyr self out about rose . you mustn't let her become an obsession ." she caressed charlie 's head , bent over him , and cooed . " who's my pretty boy  ? who's my good boy ?" she straightened up and ask in a normal voice  ." you don't really think anything was on between them , do you ?"
that question nagged away as i struggled uneasily into sleep at night and it was there when i awoke . still fatigued . its implications  swirled in my brain , " i don't know . all i know is that  i don't want to have to think about her at the moment . and nathan with his ridiculous rrequest madde sure that i have to ."
people do strange things , minty ."
i became aware of the pulse beating in my right wrist ." yes "
" look , it's not a problem right now ." i looked skep[tical and she exxplained patiently . " don't mind about it ."
the fingers of my left hand circled my wrist and pressed down on the errant pulse and pushed back the thought : history  repeats itself . paige threw  a muslin square over her  shoulder , draped charlie over it ,  andand eased herself to her feet , where she performed a circular rocking movement , like some tribal elder ,
help with the wind ," charlie obliged and  , the other hand  rubbing  her back , paige  gyrated in the opposite directtion . "  i've sent out a seaarch party for my waist , and it's still oput there ."
i laughed " presumable all your checkups have been okay ?"
" back is a bit dodgy . the ligament had gone into permanent tension .

Monday, July 23, 2012

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paige considered . " gisela's rioght  , but , it's not going to happen . you are in fine health  . maybe , maybe , minty , he wanted to put things right between you and rose ."
"well , he hasn't ."
paige ate what was on her plate at top speed with the haste of the new mother ." charle will wake up in a minute ."
on cue , a noise like  a small lawmower  struggling into life drifted from the baby alarm , paige  threw down her fork  , and her face lit up  . " i'll fetch him ."
she returned with a now roaring charlie and sat down to feed him , supporting him with one hand . with the other  , deploying an elaborate  movement so that her fork did not pass over charlie 's head , she shoveled food from plate to mouth .
"how  's martin ?"
" i barrely see him , i booted him into the sparre room , which means i have little charlie to myself ." paige smiled down at charli" don't i ?" and it's delicious , isn't it  , my tiny little tiger ? we have a lovely time ."
" don't you miss the bank ?"  i gestured at the sterilizer  , the timeble pinned to the noticeboard , the copper batterie de cuisine ." figures used to be your life ."
" oh , i miss the figures , " she said  . " i miss their purity , but they are only part of the deal . most of my time was spent politicking  , schmoozing clients , and firefighting trouble or bad press . you could never get a run at the purity ."
whenever paige mentioned a word like " figures" or " statistics ," it was noticedable that her face was suffused with longing , as  it was now . if she had been a nun  , paige would have brought the same steely concentration and ferocious will to being the perfect bride of christ .

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in her book , a good hate would evactuate the agony of the loss of nathan's life and the sorrow of the what will naver be .
" he must have thought about  felix and lucas  , and what it would mean if he wasn't here  . how will they manage with out him  ?"
if nathan came whirling back out the darknes and the beyond , i would say to him . " nathan , i will never against ask for a new bathroom , i promise to work at loving you  . " i would even promise  i did not mind that i would be damned forever by his family and friends like  the frosts and the lockhart s . i would promise to wipe the slate clean and begin again  .
i extracted a shred of shrimp shell from tjhe fork . " how am i going to cope , you might ask ?  the boys how am i going to help them ? keep them ? maintain a house ?"
"much as you 're coping how  . i imagine  . adapt . "
" i had a dream , paige . i had been transformd into a wise , hands on mother  , like you . the  sort of mother who says on a rainy afternoon  : let's make a dinosaut out of a cardboard box ." or , ' hell , why don't we write a play about daddy and i'll run up the costumes .' but it was only a dream ."
"eat " . paige dumped another  spoonful of stew onto the plate .
i started at the misture of prawns and cod  . y anger burned out . , leaving only sadness  . . " nathan wanted to humiliate me . paige  , by suggesting rose become a guardian .... if anything happened  . how could he have done that ? gisela says he was thinking clearly  . rose is the only one with time  , she's older and she knows what she's doing . she would put the boys interests first .

Friday, July 20, 2012

203 WIVESBEHAVINGBADLY

"deadly quite ."
nathan had been dead for two weeks and the doorbell no longer rang innumberable times every morning .  there were no more deliveries of flowers  . the boys , , eve and i had worked our way through soups and other offerings unfamiliar containers that at one point clogged up the fridge .
the boys' understanding of the situation fluctuated  . " daddy 's gone to a nice place , " lucas announced to eve . but every so ofen , the grasp modified and slipped  . several times since nathan's death , i had worken to discover a pair of unblinking eyes observing me  , and one or the other  of them burrowed  like a velvery mole into the safety  of my bed ,  they seesawed  between understyanding and bewildment ,  and it made them ragged tempered and uncertain . " where is daddy ?" felix had demanded at breakfast .
paige hefted the basket into the utility room and checked  on the contents of the oven  . " you could do with  a hot meal , " she said , how does a fish  stew grab you ? "
i was halfway through a plateful when the storm hit me out of nowhere  . chewing on a fat  , pink prawn  , i felt  sweat break out  on the soles  of my feet  , and a rush of rage , the likes  of which i had rarely experienced . " how dare nathan die ?" i dropped  my fork andd pushed the plate  to one side . " i'm so angry with him for leaving us  . what was he thinking of not seeing ti his heart  ? was it willfulness ? fatalism .
" that 's better , " said paige . she bent over and wiped away a drop of stew by my plate . " you have a good hate  . i always tell the cildren it is best to get it out of the system  ." she become deadly serous  . " i mean it  . you must not bottle it all up .
paige always favored the get-it-out-of-your-system appproach .

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" about my projects ..."
barry leaned over and placed a hand on my arm  . " you're not to worry about them  . chris will take over . he knows your thinking  .  you must concentrate on  getting yourdelf throgh ." his voice was rough with sypathy  , and his genuine concern almost  masked the fact that it make no different to him whether i was in the office or not .
'i'm afraid there 's gossip , " said paige . " there always is but ... " she straightened  up from laundry  basket  . " you have to admire  it's not entirely  unjustified  . why was nathan at rose's flat ? gossipwise , minty , it's  the equivalent  of throwing a juicy  christian to  the lions ."
to reward myself for  struggling through a morning of paperwork and theo  , i had dispatvched the twins to the park with  eve and come over to paige's  for lunch . we sat in her near  , clean - smelling  kitchen with something delicious  cooking  in the  aga . the baby  was sleeping upstairs . " i think nathan went to rose out of a kind of loyalty  ."
"really ? paige's eyes  widened in disbeklief  .
 i pressed  my forefingers  into the pressure point on my forehead . " nothingmore  than that  . "
paige was not convinced  . " if you say so  . ' she folded the sleeves of a  shirt across its breast  , like a figure in a church brass . " linda should be doing this  ,  but i've given her a day off . she  dosen't know yet , but it's a bribes because i want her to help me out on the weekend .  bribes  work  most   effectively , i find  , when they are post facta  . it's too  late then . " she picked up a strped yellow   and black outfit  and inspected  a tiny slees " this makes charlie look loke  a wasp  . how is it at kakey street ? "

Thursday, July 19, 2012

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deb was not to be outdone . she said in low voice . " we are all so upset . and those poor little boys ."
chris raised an eyebrow . " isn't it a little soon to be in  ?"
i explained i wanted to talk to barry and to check up on my projects .
' you needn't worry about them , " deb said quickly . " we have them under control ."
barry was somber but helpful . " it was good of you  , minty , o come in . we appreciate it  ."
i opened my diary and spread it in front of him  . the pages were mostly clean and white , " i plan to take the boys away for a short break  and then i need to sort out nathan's affair with the lawyer . if it is all right with you  , i'll come back in there weeks ?"
" three weeks ? " barry twirled his mobile thoughtfully between his fingers  . " are you sure that's long enough for you to get back on your feet ?"
best to hit the ground running  . " both of us were resorting to cliche's , but i had noticed that at pivotal moments  , such as the giving and telling of bad news  , or making sure that my career survived in the face of a stealthy takeover  by predatory colleagures , they did the job .
barry looked extra thoughtful . ' let's tease this out  , minty . i assume you still want the full-time position , but i wondered given your new circumstances  , if you shouldn't be thinking part time ."
this time my answer was caetified cliche' free  . " i can think all i like about part time  , barry  , but it won't do any good  . it has to be full time  ."
" if that 's the case ..."

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

SỨC KHOẺ DỒI DÀO
CHÚC MỪNG NĂM MỚI.
AN KHANG THỊNH VƯỢNG

Monday, July 16, 2012

Truvada approved by FDA as first HIV-prevention pill





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Sunday, July 15, 2012






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Friday, July 13, 2012

Pluto is the ninth planet in the solar system. Discovered in 1930 and immediately classified as a planet, its status is currently under dispute. Pluto has an eccentric orbit that is highly inclined in respect to the other planets and takes it inside the orbit of Neptune. Its largest moon is Charon, discovered in 1978; two smaller moons were discovered in 2005.

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Anton Zamov

Anton Zamov

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Anton Zamov

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Thanks for visiting$Dynamic Drive!








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Thursday, July 12, 2012





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200 wivesbehavingbadly

        chapter fifteen
instinct told me to dress smartly to go in to parados and i chose black trusers , green TSE  cashmere , and puued my hair into a ponytail .
 at my entrance , syrol jumped up ." we didn't expect you , should you be here ?
her raised voice brought deb into reception , " minty ? how..." deb had cut her hair in a different way and looked radiant , " how are you . we didn't think ...."
chris sharp ( in total black ) opened his office door and stuck out his head  ." deb , when you have a moment ."
 at her name , deb gave a self - conscious little jerk of her head which made her h air swing seductively  , " i'm just talking to minty , chris  . wait be a moment ."
"oh , minty , " chris emerged from the office and held out his hand ." i  want to say how sorry i am . we are all deeply , deeply sorry ."

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

198 -199wivesbehavingbadly

and i was not going to let poppy get away with it ." actually . he worried about you too ,"
"did he ?"
" you know he did . i told him nothing , but i know he thought you were in some kind of trouble ." i laid a hand on poppy's arm . " going off tilt ? isn't that the term for poker players when luck has packled its bag ?"
rose emerged from the cloakroom , and poppy looked me in the eye , " thank god we don't have to see each otheragain ,  " she said .
thank god hovered on my own lips . once uttered , there would be a sundering , a clean one , and it would suite both of us . but as the words formed , i remember my boys . the casual manner in which poppy was ready to abandon them was as wounding as anything  i had ever felt . they loved their big half sister  . naughty , naughty poppy . she offered them laughter , fun , exoticism .
poppy was their family . the might be a nest of vipers , but the vipers were their vipers , unlike the vipers elsewhere .
i swallowed  , and felt exhaustion clamp down hard . " nathan would have wanted us to be polite , at least . and it would distress your mother ."
"my mother ..." rose was walking toward us ." my mother is the best . the best ."
theo packed up his briefcase . i gestued to the half-eaten plates of sanwiches , dirty glasses an empty wine bottles .
" we're te only ones left ."
theo surveyed the empty room ." who 's taking you back to london ?'
my lst hadn't specified that . ihad forgotten to think about it ." i don't know ."
he glanced at his watch ." i'll give you a lift ."
" thank you ."
and that was that . we had buried nathan .





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