" why do we need to give one ?" he demanded from tjhe sofa . it was a sunday afternoon in early november , and he was sleepy after a lunch of roast chicken with tarrgon . newspapers paved the floor and the room was stffy with winter and central heating . in their bedroom directly above the sitting room , the twins played at airports , taking off and landing with excriciating thumps .
i informed anthan that it was necessary for his position at vistemax to keep going , that i had already compiled a list composed of key vistemax couples , and it would be smart to mix them up with friends .
nathan leaned his head against the back of the sofa , closed his eyes , and contempalted the maneuvers necessary to keep a career afloat ." been there , minty ."
he meant with rose .
there it was . despite ahving left his first wife , rose , for me . nathan still measured his life against that first marriage .
holidays , house decoration , even the choice of a new jumper were accomplished beneath the arid rain shadow of the past .
worse , nathan punished himself for what he perceived as his and my transgressions . it was a bad habit , and i had failed to nip it in the bud . in this marriage , the quality of mercy proved to be in short supply and , during our seven years together , it had been thinned , strained , and darkened , like varnish on an old painting .
my gaze drifted past figure on the sofa to the perfectly normal london view outside number 7 lakey street . the trees seemed weighed down with grime , and the pile of rubbish outside mrs . austen's flat opposite more than usually noxious . this type of exchange between nathan and me had become commonplace . what kept me in a state of perpetual astonishment , bewilderment , even , was how i had miscalculated in having gotten myself into this position in the first place .
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