221 wivesbehavingbadly

. " you will be obliged to sell the house and the proceeds will be invested for the twins ."
he left me to reflect that since theo 's hourly fees made anyone's eyes water , this had been a very expensive way to learn that celibacy paid .
i climbed onto a bus . at least i knew that in the coming months . i must be vigilant . extra vigilant . those months , possibly years , would require energy and attack . at the moment , i was not sure i possessed either . what i did have was an overwhelming  sense of panic . that would have to do . in fact , its blackness and sharpness would do very well .
theo advised me to draw up a list of priorities , plus a financial timeable  ." be ruthless , " he had said , " put together all the facts and figures to see the whose picture . it will make it easier foe you ."
fact :  there was no one to fall back on .
fact : i must get used to it .
fact : a widow with two children was hampered in what she could do to survive .
fact : after  cataclysm , my mind indulged in curious illusions .
once , early in the morning , i stumbled downstairs and there nathan was in kitchen making breakfast . coffee . bacon . toast - all those lovely aromas  . he was in his dressing gown  , whistling under his breath ." hallo . ' i said with a rush of pure delight ." you're up early ." without turning round , he reached back and slipped his arm around me .
then he was gone .
yes, my mind skittered about . concentration lapsed and i found it hard to read .