181 wivesbehavingbadly

tousled and windb;own , in his favorite  gray office suite , he seemed substantial and capable of action . yet as it turned out , that pleasing outer casing was host to a network of those highways and byways that had hidden treacherous blockages .
yet as i pondered and deciphered , i saw so clearly that we are the  architects of our own deaths . nathan 's brain and lungs belonged to the successful , upright man , but layers of his secrect grief had been laid down in his arteries , and they killed him  .
i abandoned the postmortem  on the kitchen table  , unlocked the door to the garden  , and went out into the bright sunlight .
it was spring .
early in our affair , during one of the lunchtime sessions at my flat , nathan gave me a valentine . it was large , vulgar , and had a padded pink satin heart at the center ( hids idea  of a joke ) . inside he wrote :  in spring , thoughts turn to love ."
" love ,"  he said dreamily , propped on an elbow , " i wish i could describe what it feels like ..." with his other hand , he ran his fingers up and down my bare shoulder , a whispered caress . " i had forgotten how perfect it is ."
back in the office at vistermax , a mini production crisis was brewing . white i was illicitly kissing her husband  , rose was snatching a sandwich lunch at her desk and dealing with it .
" you will forgive me ..."  - nathan 's finger rested on my breast -" if i'm rusted on the suject ."
" of course , " i answered . now that the sex was was over , i was impatient to be back in the office to see what was going on .
he lay back on the pillows . " i feel you've rescued me , minty . given me back a sense of ourpose ."
" do you never talk to rose about this sort of things ?"