filex 's grip loosened " daddy is naughty to go away .'
nathan had had no choice . he had not wanted to go . either of those statements would have been true . yet even a child could spot how hopeless and insecure they made the world appear , and the point of being a parent was to persuade your children that they were safe .
after a while . felix relaxed . his body grew heavy and his breathing regular . i lay with my arms still around him as the sounds of the day outside multiplied and i knew i had to get up and face it .
the boys and i got dressed together ." i bet i can put my trousers on quicker than you can put your socks on .' i held up a red pair and a blue one .
" quick ." said lucas , and hauled off his pajamas , revealing a bottom that had a picture of a cat on it drawn in black pen .
"what on earth have you two been doing ?"
at the breakfast table , i said ." if you eat all your cereal. you can have an ice cream for supper and an extra long story at bedtime ."
in that way , with stops and starts , little bribes and games , we got through that early morning and breakfast . that was . that was how it would be for a good while : garnes , subterfuges , and stratagerms to make the days pass .
after eve had taken them to school i cleared the table and tidied the kitchen . i am a window , i thought , as i swished water around the sink .
as i went upstairs to make the beds , the letter box in the front door rattled . the flap was lifted and a magnified eye peered through . i recognized that eye and opened the door .
nathan had had no choice . he had not wanted to go . either of those statements would have been true . yet even a child could spot how hopeless and insecure they made the world appear , and the point of being a parent was to persuade your children that they were safe .
after a while . felix relaxed . his body grew heavy and his breathing regular . i lay with my arms still around him as the sounds of the day outside multiplied and i knew i had to get up and face it .
the boys and i got dressed together ." i bet i can put my trousers on quicker than you can put your socks on .' i held up a red pair and a blue one .
" quick ." said lucas , and hauled off his pajamas , revealing a bottom that had a picture of a cat on it drawn in black pen .
"what on earth have you two been doing ?"
at the breakfast table , i said ." if you eat all your cereal. you can have an ice cream for supper and an extra long story at bedtime ."
in that way , with stops and starts , little bribes and games , we got through that early morning and breakfast . that was . that was how it would be for a good while : garnes , subterfuges , and stratagerms to make the days pass .
after eve had taken them to school i cleared the table and tidied the kitchen . i am a window , i thought , as i swished water around the sink .
as i went upstairs to make the beds , the letter box in the front door rattled . the flap was lifted and a magnified eye peered through . i recognized that eye and opened the door .
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